Happy Endings: The Tales of a Meaty-Breasted Zilch by Jim Norton; Abridged MP3 Audio Book; Narrator Jim Norton

BEST HEARD ON AN EMPTY STOMACH

Jim Norton is a pervert in the truest sense of the word. The physical equivalent of a tall slug, he pays top dollar for massages with happy endings, and is fascinated by shitty sitcoms and fat girls. He is also, at times, racially offensive and morally repugnant. He spares no one in his comedy—least of all himself.

Now, in this outrageous, blisteringly funny collection of essays, Norton tackles the topics that are near and dear to his heart: From public events like the legendary Voyeur Bus incident on the Opie and Anthony Show, which culminated in all involved being taken to jail, or seeking a hug from his childhood idol Gene Simmons, to deeply private moments, including a teenage Jim's embarrassing poetry-writing attempts while in rehab, his inexpensive sexual experience with an unwashed MILF (Monolith I'd Like to Forget), and being caught masturbating in the backseat while his friend was driving. His stories are raw, searingly honest in their attention to detail, and most of all, hilarious.

Jim Norton is an official member of CBS and XM satellite radio's Opie and Anthony Show and is best known for his extremely raunchy brand of humor. He was a regular on both seasons of Comedy Central's Tough Crowd with Colin Quinn, played the caustic Rich on HBO's Lucky Louie, and has starred in his own HBO comedy specials. He has also cohosted the AVN awards twice, and performed his stand-up all over the country, including on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno and Late Night with David Letterman, and lives in New York City.